I Won't Let Go
by Bliinkk
Summary: "I've been there..." He had said. And Ed looked up. "Where, Al?" Al had just pointed to his brother's shoes. songfic/ don't like don't read/ Made me cry lol


_**Before you read this, KNOW that writing this almost made me vomit, because it was... sad. I cried when I wrote this, because I got so into it. That's probably why the sentances are choppy. But I usually write choppy sentances to convey alot of emotions, so don't worry xD**_

_**AND ENJOY! song is I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts (ew; but i like the song)**_

_It's like a storm  
__that cuts a path  
.__It breaks your will,  
__It feels like that.  
__You think you're lost  
__but you're not lost on your own  
__Your not alone_

Al watched the back of his brothers head as he read, constantly searching for some way to fix things. His golden eyes held a deep sadness, and a fierce confusion that stung his face. Al could see Ed was struggling. He could see the scars on his brother's neck, on his stomach... When Ed thought Al was gone, the bathroom would be filled to the brimm with sobs and 'I'm sorry's. If Al could cry, he'd have done so so many times for his brother.

"Ed..." He whispered, and his brother looked up, the sadness replaced with worry the instant he did. Oh God, Ed. Don't pretend like that.

"What is it, Al? Are you okay?" The book closed. All eyes on Al, he supposed.

"Brother..." He began, uncertain. "Are you okay?"

Ed's eyes closed for a moment, the hesitation and pain flashing for only a moment, before his expression was schooled and he smiled. He was still pretending, and he was so bad at it.

"Hey... C'mon, Al. You're the one we should be worried about." He reached forward and clasped a glove, where Al's hand would've been. Al stared, knowing if he could he would cry.

"You're an idiot." He had said.

_I will stand by you  
__I will help you through  
__When you've done all you can do  
__If you can't cope  
__I will dry your eyes  
__I will fight your fight  
__I will hold you tight  
__And I wont let go..._

Al sobbed so loudly on the inside, hearing muffled groans of nothing but pain from the bathroom. "Ed..." He whispered, wishing he could just open the door and hug his brother.

But...

It scared him. So much, it scared him. What if Ed hated him? What if... What if this was what kept him whole? That's what Winry had said. 'He needs this'. He needs this? He needs ME, Al always thought, not safety scissors. Such a broken person his brother was now, trying to keep the whole world on his shoulders.

Al wished, more than a million things, that Ed would let him hold up one side, and ease that painful burden. So that, maybe one day, The scars would fade...

Maybe Al would help them fade? He was so close to opening the door, and the sound of running water hit where his ears would've been. His brother was washing away what gave him life, what kept him here, with Al. And God, Al wanted to stop him. He would, soon, open the door and cry with his brother. And smile with his brother. And live with his brother.

And be whole again.

"I'll wait for that." He had said.

_It hurts my heart  
To see you cry  
I know it's dark  
This part of life  
Oh it finds us all  
And we're too small  
To stop the rain  
Oh but when it rains_

Al's armor was dull, Ed had pointed out, so he was washing it. Ed, that is. He was on his knees before his brother, scrubbing away at his leg while Al watched him. Ed's face was dull, blank, tired, empty, yet so full of... what? There was no shine. There was no happy. There was no smile. But... something was there. Something that had never been there _was_. Now, at least. Had it been like this before?

When Al was cleaned, there was banter and wit and laughter and conversation that made more. Al would echo a laugh and Ed would mimic the sound, with less echo and more fake. Fake being the operative word. Everything, now at least, was fake fake fake and it hurt Al to see this. Because all Ed ever did now was pretend and cry and pretend. Ed looked so lost and _fake _and it was impossible to decipher what exactly had done something this awful.

This empty.

And Al watched his brother scrub his knee, the same spot now for half an hour. He didn't even bother this time, the pretend. Was it not worth the effort? Be happy, Al would scream, Be _Ed_! But the thought never evolved into more than that. It was just a thought. Careful, he would tell himself, don't break him more, he's fragile now.

He knew, he thought, he guessed that the reason was...

Him, maybe? Or them? Or maybe everything was catching up? The horror, the deaths, the seeping blood that ran over them both and _their past had gotten him. _It would've made a normal person, a person ho wasn't Ed, insane. But Ed was always so strong.

Not weak, like his brother.

"I've been there..." He had said.

And Ed looked up. "Where, Al?"

Al had just pointed to his brother's shoes.

_I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight_

Al would've ground his teeth; a nervous habit as a child, but he had no teeth. He had no ears to cover, and he had no tears to cry and cry and cry. He had no eyes to watch the bathroom door, and he had no heart that could've hurt for his brother. He had no mind... but he still thought. He loved without a heart, he watched without any eyes, the heard sobs, without those ears, and he cried and cried and cried even without those tears. He cried, and his brother couldn't see; with his perfect dull eyes, and his beating, aching heart.

"Brother." He called softly, reveling in the way the sobs stopped with a gasp. Reveling in the way his footsteps sounded as he approached the door. Preening as it opened. His not there heart falling a he took in the scene.

Blood.

Tears.

Scissors.

Ed Ed Ed.

"Al..." His brother whispered, clutching his bleeding, perfect arm. The one he kept, while Al couldn't. How wasteful, Al thought dryly, to have such a limb; just to damage it. Al stared down at his brother, his soul seen, for moments. He was just a little boy, watching the grown-ups go about business. The spectral image of Al Al Al was seen for those few silent seconds, staring down at the blond. And everything broke. The damn that held back tears and aches and Ed cried and cried and cried with_ Real _tears. Just for Al.

"I'm here, Bother." He had said.

_And I won't let you fall  
Don't be afraid to fall  
I'm right here to catch you  
I wont let you down  
It wont get you down  
Your gonna make it  
Yea I know you can make it_

Al couldn't feel his brother, because he had no skin, or nerves, or arms to hold him. He had a case that tried it's best, though. Hold him, his mind screamed, and he did, though couldn't feel it. For Ed, his mind whispered. For Ed for Ed for Ed. He did this, just for his brother.

He sank down.

And his case held another.

"I'm here, Brother." He had said. And again Ed cried and cried and cried and those real tears stained the armor, the casing. Al rocked back and forth and listened with no ears to his brother's pain. His brother's agony. And he wished, in that moment, that he had shoulders to bare weight. That those shoulders could bare Ed. And Ed could smile with his brother.

"I hurt." Was the gist of his next sentance, that was so agonizingly long and worn that Al couldn't even in his head repeat it. For Ed, it just said.

"We'll get through this, Brother." His mind screamed. And Al relayed the message.

_Cause I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
And I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go  
Oh I'm gonna hold you  
And I won't let go  
Wont let you go  
No I won't_

**_Sorry it sucked :\ Review? :D I want an HONEST opinion pwease c'mon, it's that ONE button at the bottom, right there, and it's not even that hard! You just.._**

**_*click*_**

**_"OMG FO' REALZ BBQ THT WUS SO KOOL!"_**

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**_:D_**


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